Sad News...

This is an awkward way to do this, but I just don't know of any other more appropriate way to pass this along... I sent AJ some text messages yesterday wondering how Lars was, and how his move from the hospital in New York to the hospital in Maine went... this is the response she sent me today...

AJALLIGATOR wrote:

The reason I didn't respond to any of your text messages yesterday is (1) because I didn't want to ruin your birthday it sounds like it was a lot of fun and (2) I was gone for most of it up north where there's practically no service.

Lars passed away early yesterday morning. The doctors in NYC had kept him on a cocktail of sedatives and anti-anxiety meds because if he worked himself into a panic attack it would hinder the healing process. When he was transported up here the doctor's took him off of it because they felt it was unnecessary. Part of having PTSD is people can have flashback dreams and they basically relive the entire experience. Lars had them often. When he was on the cocktail, even though he had the dreams, his body didn't react as violently to the dreams. The night before last he had one of these dreams and because the reaction to these dreams had been suppressed they came back rather violently. Because of the respiratory distress he had experienced prior to the panic attack his heart was weakened. And when he had the latest dream because his heart was so weak it just couldn't take the stress placed on it and it gave out.

I'm sorry Jen. I would have told you sooner but I didn't want to ruin your birthday.

Those stupid doctors!
I hate them all. I've never trusted them and this just solidifies my hatred.
Jesus fucking god why him?!

good god I KNEW HIM! I was just talking to him...
I hoped we could all go see him someday.

I hate them.

Are you okay Jenn?
AJ?
Rachel?

School is going to be hell tomorrow.
I'm not even in the mood to deal with anyone right now.

I just can't even grasp it.
It hurts.

Skylar I miss you.

No...

Stupid Doctors. Always thinking they know best.

I'll miss you Lars.
But at least he's in a better place.

I feel so helpless!
Is there anything we can do?!

I just don't even...

That is soo sad i am so sorry

Stupid, stupid doctors...

I don't know what to say...this is so sad.

thats sad. im srry!

R.I.P., Lars.... you'll be greatly missed.

I am soo sorry to here this news. I didn't really know that guy except from the few times that I talked to him on the chatbox and he seemed like a very nice guy. He will be greatly missed by all he touched while he was here. If there is anything that I can do please let me know.

sparklingpixie1987 wrote:

I am soo sorry to here this news. I didn't really know that guy except from the few times that I talked to him on the chatbox and he seemed like a very nice guy. He will be greatly missed by all he touched while he was here. If there is anything that I can do please let me know.

yes *agrees* ...candle-light vigil?

*lights a candle* hopefully I don't catch anything on fire.

*lights a candle* me too...

Noooooooooo.......
I cant believe this.......Im in shock...
if there is anything I can do also let me know....

Oh god, you guys are making me cry. I know he loved talking with you guys. Chatting on here was one of the only things that cheered him up in his final days. Since there will be no service held here in Maine, I will be holding a candle light vigil on Friday the 20th at Cascade Park. It was one of his favorite places to be.
One of his favorite things to do was to write letters. He did leave a few for some of you on here. I will get in touch with you regarding those letters.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Lars will be greatly missed on this forum. I know he is smiling down on us all.

I wish I could attend the vigil in person but please light a candle for me, knowing I'm definitely there in spirit.

R.I.P Lars

Lars was so much fun. He was a great addition to our little family and it is just terrible about what happened. I greatly hope you stand tall through this time of need AJ and even though it is hard, to keep a smile on your face. We all loved lars and he will be missed.

Oh my gosh...... This is the saddest post ever! When I read the title "sad news" I just figured Jen was gonna tell us something about rob or kristen...... But then. Lars? I wish I had made more effort to get to know him. I really only spoke to him a little but he was always so funny and... Awwwww. Okay aj know you are in my prayers and take comfort that he is better now. If y'all come up with anyway to help, pm me.

Mandy (nomadgirl) sent me a text today telling me the sad news. I didn't know him really well cause I haven't been on the forums that long. I wish I had gotten the chance, it sounds like he was a great guy. I'll be lighting a candle friday night too. Thank you Lars for the friend you have been to everyone here. Good look on your journey, I know you're in a better place and looking down on all of us.

Ok... I probably sound rude or whatever but i found this article... I am gonna share some stuff that may help everyone...

First comes the shock of the loss and an almost denial that is has
happened, particularly if there was no warning. We have hopes and
dreams of the future that include our loved one and suddenly he or she
is not there. How will we cope? How can we go on?But go on we
must and we will. Often times our first step is to attempt to regain
what we have lost. This is impossible if our loved one has died but
that doesn’t stop us from trying. A lot of what we go through in our
grieving process is our best attempt to keep that person alive and well
in our perception. So, we do things like go over the memories, look
through picture albums, talk about our loved one to everyone who will
listen, think about him or her every minute and even speak to him or
her out loud...

"Men are that they might have joy." But it does not mean you do not have a right to grieve and/or be sad. That is life. Somethings are meant to happen and sometimes the people left behind are the ones that mean the most. No one really knows when they are going to die or how to prepare. Somethings are easier... Like knowing months in advance so you can say goodbye. There are times when you dont get the chance. Sometimes shrugging it off or forgetting is a way to grieve.

There's a quote I've learned that is very helpful during this phase.
Unfortunately, I do not know its source. The quote is: " Don't cry
because it's over; smile because it happened." This is a highly evolved
place to get and not everyone gets there.While you continue to mourn the loss of your relationship, you're
only staying stuck in the past. Let's return to the quote mentioned
above. Instead of mourning the loss of the relationship, focus on how
fortunate you were to have that relationship in your life for as long
as you did.There are no guarantees in this life. When a loved
one enters our life, there is no surety for how long he or she will
stay. They're not possessions to be owned, but rather our gift to be
cherished for as long as we have it.We must replace love with love. Reach out to friends, family and
co-workers. -- anyone who will fill some of the gap left by your loved
one. It's not the same, it's not what you are really craving, but it
will help heal the pain.After that temporary reprieve with those who love us, you must start
rebuilding your life and your strength. You can go on. You can laugh
again. And yes, you can love again. Love has many forms.But none of this will truly do the trick unless you learn to love
yourself again. How does one accomplish this task? You must take
inventory. Make a list of all that you have to offer the world. What
are your strengths? What are your interests? What are your talents and
abilities? What do you love?If you're having difficulty
completing your list, ask someone you trust for help. An objective
viewpoint can often point out positives of which we are unaware.And
if, after taking this step, you are still unsure of your special
talents and skills, then make a list of the person that you want to be.
What is it that you would like to be able to offer the world? Describe
a person that you admire whom you would strive to become. As long as
there's breath in your body, it is never too late to learn to expand
and grow to become the person that you truly want to be.If you
feel as if your life is over, you are truly wasting the gift of life
that you have been given. There is only one you. You have something
unique inside you to offer the rest of us. Please don't keep it hidden,
lost in your griefDo not climb in the grave with your loved one.
It is not your time. Do not wither and die behind the door your loved
one closed on his or her way out of your life. Find someone less
fortunate than you, and do something for them without expecting
anything in return. You'll be surprised what that does to elevate your
mood.

Ok... DONT HUNT ME DOWN first of all. SECOND this was only to help. THIRD you really dont need to read this...

...

In all honesty I think what Bailee put was to help the people who are coping with what happened. She wasn't trying to be rude or disrespectful to anyone she was just trying to help. We all miss Lars and we all deal with death in many different ways but it's not right to lash out at someone who is trying to help others. So please be gentle in your words.
We love you all and if you need to talk to anyone please feel free to contact whoever.

I'm not trying to lash out at anyone, I really just didn't understand.

I think that edwards_darling_sis_ali (sorry I don't know everyone's names yet!) was just trying to stop the problem before it started. Nip it in the bud, you know.

And I just realized that I never replied to this about Lars.

I read this a few days ago and I just couldn't comprehend it, so I never said anything. I wish that I had tried to get to know him better, he seemed like an amazing person and will be dearly missed. I am so sorry. Lars was someone anybody could talk. Good luck on your next adventure Lars, and I know that you are smiling down at all of us. You'll be missed, to say the least.

I hope that came out right. I've never had to deal with a death before, I don't want to insult anyone.

I never personally knew Lars, but I have heard nothing but the most wonderful things about him.

I wish that I would have the opportunity to know him, but let me just say this:

He was a remarkable person who made people smile. Even though I never knew him, I still feel that twist in my gut and a quiver in my legs. I hear about this and think of how short life really is. Vampires don't exist and neither do immortals, so eventually, we must all succomb to our fate. Perhaps, that's one of the most appealing things of Twilight: when Breaking Dawn ends, we know that they will have eternity with their loves. We, however, get around eighty, and in tragic cases like this, we don't even get half of that.

We are all human. We hurt and we cry and we bleed and we feel. It hurts to feel, but it is our greatest asset. We cherish the times that we have with everyone, but when the happiness that was always present vanishes, it hurts. It hurts like you are being killed yourself, but you are still alive and this person is gone. Even when the days stretch and the daybreak never sems to come, have hope. Although the happiness that was so omnipresent before is seemingly no where to be found, have faith. One day, one day in the long future, when you have long since passed this day, you will find the happiness that is looming upon the horizon. Your loved one would not want you to never be happy, but to mourn and when you feel as though you are no longer walking upon fire, you will smile. Perhaps you will smile a smile that is smaller than before, but your smile will reflect your love. Your love that was blinded by the hurt, but in the end, the hurt will always be triumphed over by the happiness. You have had years that you shall never forget and one day you shall look back fondly to all of your memories, your beautiful memories that you shall carry wherever you go, for the rest fo your existance.

Lars, I'm sorry that you and I never communicated, but I know that you will be missed. Not only by all of your friends and family, but by everyone on this board that knows that your passing was a tragic loss for everyone.

The world has just lost a kind and compassionate soul. He will be dearly missed.

Missy Skywalker, you're an amazing person. You all are truly amazing. The support has been almost overwhelming and I thank you guys, truly, from the bottom of my heart. As you may know the candle light vigil is tonight. For those of you who would like me to light a candle for you, please get in touch with me I will be on once more before I leave for the park.
Again, thank you guys.