The List by Laura cullen (RATED NC-17) This WILL ruin your panties

I know the odds of this actually being recommended are a bit slim because...family show, but i can't help it. If nothing else I at least wanted to bring it to the attention of my fellow smut lovers. This is very well written, not too ooc for most people's taste, and HAWT!
I mean good fracking lord.

Let me put it this way, it's been featured at the perv pack's smut shack m'kay?
Granted I rarely agree with them on the quality of a fic because i'm extremely picky but this was amazing. (the shower scene, OMG the shower scene!) It's still going even 15 chapters in too.
A nice bonus is the fact that there's a decent amount of humor sprinkled in there for flavor.

When I say it ruins panties I'm NOT KIDDING!
Lock your doors and make sure no one else is home.
There were times that i was panting and they haven't even done the deed yet!

Enjoy my dirty little monkeys.
This is dedicated to you Becca! ;D

It can only be found on twilighted to the best of my knowledge so here's the link:
http://twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=2026&textsize=0&chapter=1

*claps hands... locks door*

*locks doors and is ready*

OH.....HOLY.....GOD.....brie what are you trying to do to me?!?!?!?!

sparklingpixie1987 wrote:

OH.....HOLY.....GOD.....brie what are you trying to do to me?!?!?!?!

IKR!
I had to give myself breaks when I was reading this. It's. just. too. hot.
If they let Edward/Rob cuss even once in the movie i'm gone. Can you imagine Edward saying the f-bomb?! *shudder*

i've read some ff where rob uses the f-bomb....and oh my god!!! *shudders* im right there with ya...they let edward/rob drop the f-bomb im done for.

Crap even when Rob uses the D-bomb I'm a gonner! ::shivers::
This is WAY too hot. I was reading it at work and I was upset when my shift was over because it was getting so good. Dang it! Well now I'm at home so...

::Goes to lock door and... forget the panties!::

Please summit. New Moon f-bomb, i'm begging you! (when I was younger I never would have guessed cussing would be a turn on)

I hope the rating goes up. It was like, pg-13 last time right? By breaking dawn they're going to have to make it at least 17+ or something like that. Not NC-17 but I don't think they can get away with pg-13.
Although...stephenie will probably moan about that.
I like the woman but sometimes her stipulations are annoying.

I want more than one good steamy make out in eclipse!
gah, behave yourself brie. *backhands herself*

lol....im right there with ya...i mean...what? LOL....i found a kellan fic and a jackson one....oooooo

Anitamichichi wrote:

Crap even when Rob uses the D-bomb I'm a gonner! ::shivers::
This is WAY too hot. I was reading it at work and I was upset when my shift was over because it was getting so good. Dang it! Well now I'm at home so...

::Goes to lock door and... forget the panties!::

Anything that man says can be a turn on right?

hahaha I bet that's the first time you were upset that your shift was over.
I was like that during my canceled class at school. I was so caught up in reading (and trying to keep it together in public) that I got so pissed when my next class started. (pretty sure I was blushing like mad too)

Yeah, panties are not very helpful when reading this fic.
Warm showers however, can do wonders ;D

dirrrty.....lol....

Folklorn wrote:

Please summit. New Moon f-bomb, i'm begging you! (when I was younger I never would have guessed cussing would be a turn on)

I hope the rating goes up. It was like, pg-13 last time right? By breaking dawn they're going to have to make it at least 17+ or something like that. Not NC-17 but I don't think they can get away with pg-13.
Although...stephenie will probably moan about that.
I like the woman but sometimes her stipulations are annoying.

I want more than one good steamy make out in eclipse!
gah, behave yourself brie. *backhands herself*

I concur! Eclipse really got me going with those steamy make-out scenes. Edward was such a tease in that book and he so knows it. Breaking Dawn...all I have to say is...if there is an f-ing black out on the wedding night... I-AM-GOING-TO-BLOW-A-GASKET! I know people who actually thought they were missing pages because of that black-out. Yet- she can write the most gory birthing scene ever(which I loved, don't get me wrong, I loved that she pushed the envelope on that) and not write a tasteful wedding night...or the deed the first time as a vampire? I've seen them on fanfic, it can be tastefully written and still in-canon. Any hooligan...I have faith in the movies. PLEASE Summit...PLEASE! NO BLACK-OUTS!!!!!

i will admit I was one of the few who thought they were missing pages in Breaking Dawn when it fades to black. I loved the scene in Eclipse where Edward is trying out the bed with Bella. I sooo screamed that he was a Tease and I can't really blame Bella for being all ....like she was..(just for the record...i do like to bella bash.)

I never even thought about it but you girls are right! Edward is a total tease. See, this is one of those things that makes me think the twilight series is a little bit sexist.
I mean, there are other things too but it's like everyone assumes females have no sex drive. For goodness sake! I KNOW that's not true.
Sure, maybe according to scientists we don't hit our prime until, what, 32 or something?
But that doesn't mean we can turn it off any better than a dude can.
I don't buy that statistic anyway. Considering majority of smut is written by women a think we have some proof to back us up.
Heck, playboy is run by a woman now! Hugh's daughter is the president of the company!

And I was so pissed at the blackout that I remember slamming the book closed and flailing around on my bed like I was having a seizure. I did go back and check a few times to see if the pages were stuck together or something because IT MAKES NO SENSE!

If she's assuming her readers are mature enough to handle the gore fest that was the birth, why is sex any different? I tend to think the scars you could carry from seeing something like that on the big screen as apposed to a natural function like sex are waaay more severe.
I think if we have a good director for the 3rd one we might get a decent wedding night. ANYTHING but a fade to black.

I tend to bella bash too because she's not what I wanted in a "strong" female character but I can also forgive her sometimes. Edward's teasing would make me into a lusty zebra too.

And you know in a sense when Edward is teasing Bella because it is told through her perspective...its like he's teasing us! >_<. Evil Edward!!! Why must you mess with our emotions like that....you know that we are powerless when u are dazzeling us.

Seriously! Especially in Eclipse when he says he's used to her scent already-that it doesn't affect him anymore like it used to...I mean hello? Can we say TEASE!!! Let me tell you something, I never forget about one of the first things he said in Twilight, "Damn it, Bella! You'll be the death of me! I swear you will!"

Well, Edward...be lucky it was Bella and not me, ok? Because TRUST ME I would DEFINITELY be the death of you, I swear I will! I mean all through out Eclipse...ho ho oh buddy...anthing you start with me you need to FINISH! Even in freaking Breaking Dawn he's a tease. In the beginning? The night before? Ugh....COME ON! We're about to get married dude! I swear I won't jilt you! Now can you please make me a real blushing bride?? Then that whole tease of, "Oh I won't touch you until you're changed." Who the hell are you, Elvis Presely?! (Elvis Presely never slept with his wife again after she became a mother...he thought it was in-appropriate) Shoot...thank Jeebus for skimpy lingerie. And the almighty, powerful word, "Please?"

I totally agree with you. If I were in Bella's place...he would've been thrown down , especially after they were married. I mean seriously?! I know that he was born in 1901 and sex was never ever mentioned in society, seeing that it would be a scandel. But dude, you're MARRIED!!!! you're allowed to do those things with your wife. You should be thankful she wants you! Moving on.....


but in the long run, I do understand why Stephenie Meyer did fade to black in Breaking Dawn. She was heard to have said that her children are reading the series and she didn't want them to read something like that. They aren't reading The Host are they? *anyhow...getting off topic...she did leave enough( though not enough for some) innuendo for us to get the picture of what was going on...i mean Bella's quote after they get the new house about how good he looks dressed...and then him nakkie...hello to the image..lol j/k!

LMAO, yes I think it's been said and is probably a law somewhere in Twi-world that Edward Anthony Masen Cullen is a tease.

But I still fall for it EVERY TIME...I'm a sucker and a fool in love...dang it!

Curse you Edward Cullen and your smutyness *shakes fist at Edward*

Yea...that'll bring him to his knees...a "shake" of the fist. Wait a minute! Bring...him...to...his...knees? Maybe that's not such a bad thing after all... :::Starts shaking fist at Edward:::

Anitamichichi wrote:

Yea...that'll bring him to his knees...a "shake" of the fist. Wait a minute! Bring...him...to...his...knees? Maybe that's not such a bad thing after all... :::Starts shaking fist at Edward:::

Ohhh...we are sooo going to a special hell. Now we just need to get Brie to shake her fist at Edward and i think it might just happen..i mean....

Hell's not so bad...if you get to keep an angel with you.

"Edward! Let's go! Satan's waiting!"

*rips off glued on Angel wings* Meh...they weren't even real anyhow.....*grabs Edward*

We are in sooooooo much trouble if a mod reads this thread...I think.
Although, If I'm going to have a dash on my record I don't mind this being the shiny red check mark.
Or more like shiny liquid golden check mark...
that smells like honey and musk mmmmmmm ;9


Rob said he wanted to play satan at some point right?
Unless they decide to smother him in Godiva chocolate I don't think he could be any more tempting.

pshh I've been shaking my fist at Edward for months.
I just keep in on the downlow B3
Seriously, I'm not disputing the existence of heaven or hell but every time I compare the sins to the virtues I'm like "well I have a lot of virtues but some of those sins look like fun."
What kind of heaven has no sex?! WHAT!!
only missionary my right foot! (I'm a lefty so I need those body parts)

Again, we are in sooo much trouble...

Are we seriously gonna get into trouble?!?! *Panics* i hope not.....*cries*